I’ve decided it might be a nice idea to do a fun post each Friday. So, as from today, I’ll be putting up a “fun” post each Friday, with jokes/pictures/videos/whatever to celebrate Friday. This is just a starter, next week’s one ought to be better (as I’ll have more time to put it together, and use my new-found ability to schedule WordPress posts for later publishing to get them ready in advance :)

Warning – some of the jokes may be mildly offensive, so if you’re easily offended, I suggest you don’t read the rest of the post.

Man sat on a towel on the beach,he had no arms or legs. Three women walk past and feel sorry for him. One asks, “you ever had a hug?” “No” he says, so she hugs him. Second woman says “you ever had a kiss?” “No” he says, so she kisses him. The third woman asks “you ever been fucked?” “No” he says. She replies “You will be when the tide comes in!”

An 80-year-old man went to his doctor for his annual check-up. The doctor asks him how he’s feeling. The 80-year-old says, “I’ve never felt better. I now have a 20 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think about that?”

The doctor considers his question for a minute and then begins. “I have an older friend, much like you, who is an avid trophy hunter and never misses a season. One day, when he was going out hunting, he was in a bit of a hurry and accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun. When he got to the creek, he saw a prime beaver sitting beside the stream of water. He raised his cane and went ‘bang, bang’. Suddenly, two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead. What do you think of that?”

The 80-year-old said, “I’d say somebody else pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver.”

The doctor replied, “My point exactly.”

A bloke goes into his local shop.
“Hi, a packet of helicopter flavour crisps, please” he says.
Puzzled, the shop keeper replies that he doesn’t have helicopter flavour crisps.

“Oh, ok.”, comes the response.” I’ll have plain….”

Two Middle East mothers are sitting in the cafe strip chatting over a pint
of goat’s milk. The older of the mothers pulls her bag out and starts
flipping through pictures and they start reminiscing.

“This is my oldest son Mohammed. He’s 24 years old now”
“Yes, I remember him as a baby” says the other mother cheerfully.
“He’s a martyr now though” mum confides.
“Oh so sad dear” says the other.
“And this is my second son Khalid. He’s 21”
“Oh, I remember him,” says the other happily, “he had such curly hair when he was born”.
“He’s a martyr too ” says mum quietly.
“Oh gracious me ….” says the other.
“And this is my third son. My baby. My beautiful Ahmed. He’s 18”, she whispers.
“Yes” says the friend enthusiastically, “I remember when he first started school”.
“He’s a martyr also,” says mum, with tears in her eyes.
After a pause and a deep sigh, the second muslim mother looks wistfully at
the photographs and says… “They blow up so fast, don’t they?”

And a video to end: