As I said last week I decided to do a fun post each Friday, so here we go :)

(If you’re easily offended, you might want to skip some of the jokes, although you’ll still like the video!)

This is Snowball the “Rockin’ Cockatoo” dancing to the Backstreet Boys (found via Donncha’s post). It’s best with the sound on!

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A man and a woman are riding next to each other in first class. The man sneezes, pulls out his wang and wipes the tip off. The woman can’t believe what she just saw and decides she is hallucinating. A few minutes pass. The man sneezes again. He pulls out his wang and wipes the tip off. The woman is about to go nuts. She can’t believe that such a rude person exists. A few minutes pass. The man sneezes yet again. He takes his wang out and wipes the tip off. The woman has finally had enough. She turns to the man and says, “Three times you’ve sneezed, and three times you’ve removed your penis from your pants to wipe it off! What the hell kind of degenerate are you?”

The man replies, “I am sorry to have disturbed you ma’am. I have a very rare condition such that when I sneeze, I have an orgasm.”

The woman then says, “Oh, how strange. What are you taking for it?”

The man looks at her and says, “Pepper.”

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Some liquorice goes to the Doctor. “Doctor I need an AIDS test”. “But
why? You’re liquorice!”. “Because I fuck allsorts!!!”

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Maria is a devout Catholic. She gets married and has 17 children. Soon
after the last child is born her husband dies. A few weeks later she
remarries and over the following years has another 22 children with
her second husband. After the last child is born her second husband
also dies.

Within a month Maria is engaged to be married a third time but
unfortunately, she becomes very ill and dies.

At her wake, the priest looks tenderly at Maria as she lies in her
coffin, looks up to the heavens and says, “At least, they’re finally
together.”

A man standing next to the priest asks, “Excuse me, Father, but do
you mean Maria and her first husband or Maria and her second husband?”

The priest says, “Neither, I mean her legs.”

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At his wedding reception, the young groom’s grandad
congratulated his grandson and said: “The secret to
enjoying a long and happy marriage, is to listen to
each other at all times, respect each other’s wishes
and to try and have sex in moderation. That way, your
marriage will last as long as your grandma’s and mine
has.”

Thanking him for his advice, the grandson said: “What’s
sex like then when you get older, granddad?”

His granddad looked at his grandson, smiled and said:
“Just like trying to play pool with a piece of rope!”

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