Category Archives: Humour

Random funny things.

Wibbles, WTF

Three Valleys Water cont’d

I already wrote a post about how Three Valleys Water randomly decided to remove our meter.

We’ve just had a bill through from them, with a meter reading that they took on the 28th August, billing us £82 for three months usage. That figure is utter crap, it’s way too high. Not to mention, there was no meter attached to our supply on the 28th August! That’s a day or two after I noticed that the meter had been removed.

They’ve put the bill on hold (just as well, because I was going to instruct my bank not to pay the Direct Debit) while they send an engineer out to see what’s happened, then when they get the report back they’ll “adjust the bill”. I can suggest a suitable adjustment – stick the thing up your fucking arse!

Continue reading Three Valleys Water cont’d →

Humour, WTF

One hell of a gift voucher!

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I placed an order with Amazon today, and applied a gift voucher to it. When I added the voucher, I was quite amazed by the saving it offered:

Amazon huge gift voucher

I had no idea I’d received a 9 billion pound voucher! Unfortunately, it subsequently changed to the correct figure of £20, otherwise I’d have added all of Amazon to my shopping basket :)

Humour

Delightful irony

Went to metcheck.com to see what the latest on all the rain + flooding (of which I’ve seen no flooding at all), and see:

Heavy rain and flooding has is causing problems with our processing servers at the Gloucester server farm. Technical peeps are working on this at the moment. This is affecting all data updates to the Metcheck servers.

There’s something delightfully ironic about that :)   “We can’t tell you whether there’s any flooding, as our servers have been flooded” :D

Humour

George Bush’s parrot

Laura Bush bought George a parrot for his birthday. She told Dick Cheney, “The bird is so smart! George has already taught him to mispronounce over 200 words!”

“Wow, that’s pretty impressive,” Cheney said. “But you realize that he just says the words. He doesn’t understand what they mean”.

“That’s okay,” Laura replied. “Neither does the parrot”…

 (Taken from a post on Visordown)

Humour

A groaner

An Englishman, Scotsman & Irishman are in hospital recovering from serious surgery.

For conversation’s sake the Englishman says:

“What do you think is the best thing ever invented?” ” I think it’s the Pacemaker, because if it wasn’t for the Pacemaker it’d be curtains for me”.

Scotsman says: “Aye, The Pacemaker, ‘cos I had heart disease and if it wasn’t for the Pacemaker, it’d be curtains for me , too”.

The Irishman says: “Venetian blinds”.

Puzzled consternation from the Englishman & Scotsman. “Why???”

“Because if it wasn’t for them it’d be curtains for everyone”.

Humour

Pay peanuts and get monkeys…

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Okay, they say if you pay peanuts, you get monkeys – well, why not hire Primate Programmers?

Primate Programming Inc. is dedicated to the advancement and gainful employment of non-human great apes within the United States information technology sector.
[….]
A skilled primate from our firm can handle code maintenance and report writing for as little as 45 cents per hour. The entire staff receives ongoing .NET training and JSP training in addition to training in XML, Java and related technologies.